Getting a Little Spark Going

Maybe I write horror now?

Here’s the set up you need.

I always wanted to be a writer. When I was a kid, that meant fiction books, not that I really called it that. I wanted to make up and tell stories. Then, like every angsty teen in the 90s, I started writing poetry. I think for a minute I even thought I could be a poet.

But, you know, life settles in. I found blogging, then essays. Then I wrote the memoir. About a decade ago, I got an idea for the thing I dubbed The Fiction Project. It has a working title, but I’m not ready to share it yet. I’ve pulled it out a bunch of times over the years, though I never really figured it all out. I had a premise without a climax, and that doesn’t really work.

I thought maybe it would make a cool movie or limited series, maybe a comic or graphic novel. The premise would work so well with visuals.

Then I did what I do: I told myself I don’t know how to write fiction or a movie or a limited series or a comic or a graphic novel, so I put TFP (as the file folder is labeled) on the shelf and life just kept going.

Next time I write something I like, I will put a post-it on it that says “VERY GOOD.” Photo by Ron Lach.

Here’s what happened recently.

Last week, my husband’s company launched their first comic title. (If you like horror and sci-fi, you should check out Panick Entertainment. The first three comics are SO good.)

At dinner the other night with one of his colleagues, we were talking stories and writing, and I said something like I wished I could write horror. The response I got was, “Why can’t you?”

I said, “Because I don’t know how,” and even as the words were leaving my mouth, I knew how silly they were.

I didn’t know how to write children’s books, but I have a couple volumes of The Adventures of Harry the Hamster I wrote when I was in grammar school.

I didn’t know how to blog, but I read blogs and learned.

I read about how to write essays and memoirs, and I write tthose too.

So why can’t I consume more comics and graphic novels and content about how to write them and then do it? Why can’t I study up on writing horror?

The Fiction Project was originally going to be a coming-of-age sci-fi novel, but it never felt right.

And this morning, for the first time in probably 18 months, I picked up TFP and outlined a pretty decent story arc.

I don’t know what exactly is going to happen with this (or anything in my life right now, if I’m being honest), but I feel excited about writing in a way that I haven’t for a very long time.

It’s a nice feeling. More to come on this development, or at least I assume there will be. I’m going to start carving out some time to work on this instead of ignoring it for another decade.

Here’s a random life update.

Today is the one year anniversary of getting laid off. What a fun day to celebrate! I’m kidding. Being unemployed, or at least not having a full-time job, for the last year has been interesting. It’s been challenging in a lot of ways, but it’s also been exciting. I’ve been feeling like i’m preparing for a seismic shift for months, and I can’t quite tell what’s going to happen.

A week from tomorrow, my kid moves into the dorm. Parenting an adult-child is a weird thing, and being eight days out from said child leaving home is a very interesting feeling. There’s excitement, for sure, on their part and mine, though for different reasons. And there’s the anxiety that goes along with huge life changes. Of course, I have to mention that I am also incredibly sad because I’m going to miss them terribly.

Life is weird. I don’t know what’s next. I’m not sure I’d feel any more certain about the future even if I did.

Here’s the thank you paragraph.

Huge thanks to all who read, comment, like, share, subscribe, and support. You all make me feel special and cared for, and I really appreciate that.