Reinvention

A little bit about what's new.

When I started writing here, I thought I knew what this would be. Then life took a twist, as it tends to do. Over the past six months, I’ve started to get a feel for what I want my life to be about. Time to think and connect with other people has been amazing that way.

I’m still pursuing publication of my memoir. I’m also still planning to write. Even in all the various versions of myself and my work, writing has always been a part of things. But writing alone wasn’t likely to pay the bills soon, if ever, so it was crucial that I figure something out to go with it.

By “go with it,” I don’t just mean freelancing on the side and doing something totally unrelated. I’ve always wanted to do something that honored my past and the work I’ve done to get through it.

Isn’t this rose pretty? That’s the only reason it’s here.

What should I be when I grow up?

I have a Bachelor’s of Social Work. I had wanted to be a high school counselor. I would have needed to get a Master’s degree to go that route, and it wasn’t in the cards after graduation. It’s just as well. I wasn’t in a good enough space emotionally in my 20s to really go down that road. Never mind becoming a social worker; I needed one of my own. So I fell into an insurance job so I could get health insurance so I could get a therapist.

I fell into marketing for insurance when I was trying to mix writing with insurance. I didn’t have a great plan. I just needed a job. Falling into jobs was my specialty at that point.

A few times over the years, I thought about going back to school and pursuing social work again. It never felt quite right. I also had enough other obligations that it didn’t feel possible either.

It’s funny how the universe will get in your way to stop you from doing the wrong thing.

What’s less funny is that the universe doesn’t always drop you a specific note to say “this is what I have planned for you.” So while hints might be popping up, one is still left to figure out what one is meant to be doing.

And that’s how in August, I came to be 48 years old and suddenly unemployed, trying to figure out what to be now that I’m grown up.

I’ve done a lot of thinking.

I did the perfect day exercise. You know the one: If there was nothing to stop you from doing anything, what would you do? How would you spend your day? How would you earn money (assuming you wanted to earn money). What would you talk about? Where would you go?

I thought about what was so appealing about social work when I thought that was my future? I didn’t want people to feel alone or lost. I wanted to help in a meaningful way. I wanted to matter. I wanted to have impact.

I asked myself what else I enjoyed in college? I loved reading good stories and talking about them. I also really enjoyed my film class for the same reason. I felt so alive in my philosophy class. I craved opportunities to connect with people and share ideas. I used to say that in another time, I’d have been a philosopher and a poet.

And now that I’m older? I love martial arts and being active, but I’m better at it when I’m with other people. I really enjoyed leading a couple classes, too. I still love getting together with others for really good conversation and sharing ideas. I always thought I didn’t like collaborating with others but found that when I was with the right people, I often preferred it to working alone. I remembered how much I love being a leader.

It was time for a reinvention.

If ever there is a time for reinvention, it’s when your kid turns 18 and is headed off to college soon. It’s when you’re laid off from your job. It’s when you’re getting closer to 50 by the minute.¹ It’s when every job ad you look at feels like the wrong fit, and you’re not getting invited to interview anyway.

It’s when sign after sign after sign and hint after hint after hint from the universe tells you that all the little ideas you have are growing and connecting and you feel a little spark you haven’t felt in a really long time. It’s when, every time you put the ideas together, you can feel it in your bones that it’s right, which is why everything else felt wrong.

So what’s the thing then?

All that thinking got me to one question: How do I help people in a meaningful way, have an impact, make connections, lead others, use my past, share my growth journey, and collaborate?

How do I find this dream job?

I create it. That’s how.

At the very end of last year, I completed a life coach certification course. I’ve been developing a couple of workshops that will help people overcome their own obstacles. That’s phase one.

For phase two, I’ve been creating plans for a place where people can come together and share ideas, learn, and grow. I’m building an organization to help other people find and act on their purpose. I intend to open an acutal physical space, a hub of creativity and intention.

I’m bringing to life a place where I can act on my purpose, which is to facilitate, lead, and connect people to themselves and others.

Little by little, it’s coming together.

How does that change what’s happening here?

Not sure yet! Maybe it doesn’t. It feels like as everything is coming together, it’s coming apart at the same time, which also feels exactly right. It’ll be interesting at the very least.

Tell me what you think?

What doesn’t change is that I would love to know what you think. Does this idea sound interesting to you? Let’s chat about it!

1. Obviously, anyone under 50 is getting closer to it by the minute. But when you’re 48, those minutes hit harder.